Tuesday, March 08, 2011

The end of Inday and Dodong - A Love Story

It was jazz an ordinary day. The skies were clear, the birds were chirping. Ang ganda-ganda ng araw! Nasa SM ako noon at katatapos ko lang mamili ng groceries. Timing naman nasa foodcore si Angel Locsin, nagpro-provoke ng movie nya. Grabe, ang daming fans, pull-packed talaga! Dahil fans niya rin ako, nakipila rin ako.

Then suddenly, out of the loo, may bumulong sa akin ng: "Indaaaay..." Huh? It sounded like a familiar sound. Who can it be now?

"Dodong!" sigaw ko.

Napalakas yata voice ko. Kasi the other fans turned their backs to their behind at napatingin sa amin. Sabi ko, "Sorry, I didn't mean to be loud and proud." Hinawakan na lang ni Dodong ang kamay ko at lumayo kami from the crowd.

"Kamusta na Inday? Do you come here open?" tanong niya.

"Bihira lang, Dodong. I'm just droppings by. Ethnic ang schedule ko eh," sabi ko.

Memories came flushing in my mind. How can I forget to remember Dodong? Siya na may mata ni Piolo, dimples ni Aga, at bigote in Rex Cortez. He's every woman's dreamboat. I was just starting my tour of duty kay ate noon nang unang makilala ko si Dodong. Contraction worker siya sa ginagawang bahay sa tapat namin. Naging kami for awhile then after that were not an item anymore.

"Tanghali na Inday. What did you say we lunch together?" tanong ni Dodong. "I don't mine," sagot ko.

Sa restaurant, nilapitan kaagad kami ng waiter. "What's your odor, sir?" sabi nung waiter kay Dodong.

"Do you have porkshop?" tanong ni Dodong.

"Yes sir," sabi nito. "Our porkshop with a resistance to the teeth of boast of our chef. Domestic careful selection of pork with little fat of female liking is used. The exquisite cooking which repeated trial and error was completed. It also has healthy vegetables with salad feeling fully," dagdag niya.

"And you mam?" sabay tingin naman sa akin.

"Hmm.... mukhang masarap yung porkshop. Pero I'm cutting down on my carbon kaya pinigilan ko."

"I'll just have water, thanks. Liquidate diet ako eh," sagot ko.

Pagkatapos kumain, nagyaya si Dodong manood ng sine. Teka teka, this is going too far. Besides, it's a long, long way to run.

"Reality chess, Dodong. May asawa na ako, si Jay. As a mother of fact, I'm happily married," pagmamalaki ko.

"Di na pwede yung tulad ng dati. Sorry pero I didn't expect you still have more feelings than I expected. I don't want you getting the way. Past is fast. Therefore, cause and defect," dagdag ko pa.

Tumahimik siya. Parang may language barrel na namagitan sa amin. The seconds that passed seemed like fraternity. Di naglaon, nagsalita na rin siya.

"I don't care less!" sigaw ni Dodong.

Shocks, give me a brake! The nerd ng taong ito para sigawan ako! To think it's his other woman that caused our separation to part. Kinabahan na ako. I felt speed bumps all over my body and was having panic attach. Tinalikuran ko siya at nagmadali akong lumakad palayo. Pero sumunod pa rin siya like a monkey on my butt. Hanggang sa makakita ako ng security guard. Biglang nagwala si Dodong.

"Excuse me kuya, pwedeng magtanong?" sabi ko sa mamang guard.

"Of course miss, I can help you with my pleasure," sagot niya.

"Saan po ba ang exit? Could you point me to the right erection? I got lost in my eyes."

"Diretso lang," sabi niya. "Then turn right anytime with care."

"Thanks for your corporation," sabi ko.

Buti na lang nandun si kuya. Pero saglit lang, I smell something peachy. As I turned, nakita ko na namang nakasunod si Dodong! Delaying static lang pala kanina ang pag disappear niya.

"Nyahaha! You can run but you can hide, Inday. No matter where you go, there you are!" pananakot niya.

Oh no, is this the end? This is too much, I feel degradable. My world started falling afar.

Then suddenly, Jay come from behind! Dodong was caught to the act! In the matter of minute, it's all over. I'm out of arm's way. "Thanks Jay, my love. But how did you?" Bago pa man ako matapos, sabi niya, " I was in the neighborhood. Fans din ako ni Angel Locsin eh. I heard you shout but at first I didn't give it a thought. Pero nang makita ko kayong magkahawak ng hands, then I give it a thought. I know something is a missed."

From then on, Dodong did not bother me again. In fact, he didn't even sister me. As in platonic at wala na talaga. Pero kami ni Jay, heto shoot sailing pa rin ang relationship. Lalo pa ngayon, open na kami sa isa't isa at walang exhibitions. I feel I'm on cloud.


By: Kathleen Stevens, on a Filipino newspaper.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Kulet na Bata...

Dad: Anak, bili mo ko ng soft drinks
Anak: Coke o Pepsi?
Dad: Coke
Anak: Diet o Regular?
Dad: Regular
Anak: Bote o Can?
Dad: Bote
Anak: 8 oz o Litro?
Dad: Bwiset! Tubig na lang!
Anak: Natural o Mineral?
Dad: Mineral
Anak: Malamig o Hindi?
Dad: Hampasin kaya kita ng walis?
Anak: Tambo o Ting-ting?
Dad: Animal ka!
Anak: Baka o Baboy?
Dad: Lumayas ka!
Anak: Ngayon o bukas?
Dad: Ngayon na!!
Anak: Hatid mo ko o hindi?
Dad: Patayin kaya kita?
Anak: Saksakin o Barilin?
Dad: Babarilin!
Anak: Sa ulo o sa tiyan?
Dad: Peste!
Anak: Ipis o Daga?
Dad: waaaahhh (naglulupasay)

Tamang Kahulugan ng mga Salitang Pinoy

Abuloy- Bayad sa nahigop na kape at nanguyang biskwit sa nilamayang sakla

Akala - alam na alam daw

Aginaldo - inaasahan na makukuha sa araw ng Pasko na mas okay sana kung pera na lang

Bakasyon - sandaliang pahinga sa trabahong hingal lang ang pahinga

Bakit - tanong na laging mahirap masagot

Bakya - tsinelas na may takong

Baga - lutuan ng mga hindi makabili ng microwave

Bagoong - masarap na ulam ng mga walang maiulam

Baldado - hindi mamamatay-matay na mukhang hindi na mabubuhay

Bale - sweldong inutang

Kaaway - ikli ng "kaibigan na inayawan"

Kababata - dating gelpren na may ibang boypren

Kabag - utot na naipon sa tiyan

Kabayo - hayop na sinasakyan ng kalesa

Kalbo - gupit ng buhok na korteng itlog

Dalaginding - dalgang hindi pa nagsusuot ng bra

Dilim - liwanag na maitim

E - ireng paseksi

Gahasa - romansang walang ligawan

Ginang - asawa ni ginoo na mukha nang tsimay

Ginoo - inaasawa ni ginanang na may inaasawang iba

Gipit - kalagayan ng tao na suki na ng sanglaan

Ha - sagot ng nagbibingi-bingihan

Halakhak - tawang bukang-buka ang ngala-ngala

Handaan - magdamagan na palakihan ng tiyan

Handog - bigay na laging may kapalit

Hipo - haplos na may malisya

Hudas - tapat na manloloko

Ibon - hayop na lumalangoy sa hangin

Imposible - pagtaas ng unano

Insulto -walang hiyang biro

Isda - hayop na hindi nalulunod

Ita - negrong Pinoy

La - ikli ng "lalalala" sa kinakantang hindi maalala

Lalawigan - siyudad ng kahirapan

Langaw - kulisap na bangung-bango sa amoy ng basura

Ma - tawag sa gelpren na mukhang nanay na

Malusog - hitsura ng tumatabang balat

Mama - tawag sa sosyal na ina

Mano - kaugaliang Pinoy na nakapupudpod ng noo

Mantika - katas ng piniritong taba

Maybahay - asawang utusan sa bahay

Nakaw - pagkuha ng walang pasabing "akin na lang ito"

Naku - ikli ng "ina ko, ina na ako"

Nitso - bahay ng mga patay

Nobya - gelpren na laking probinsiya

Ngalngal - iyak ng walang ipin

Ngisi - tawang tulo-laway

Ngiti - tawang labas ipin

Paa - bahagi ng katawan na amoy lupa

Paaralan - dito itinuturo kung ano, alin o sino ang mapipiling bobo

Panata - dasal na nakatataba ng tuhod

Regla - masungit na panahon ng pagkababae

Sabon - mabangong bagay na ipinapahid sa mabahong katawan

Sakristan - utusan ng pari

Sampal - haplos na nakatitigas ng mukha

Ta - ikli ng "tita" o lalaking may bra

Tamad - taong hindi napapagod sa paghinga

===============
Taken from Kabayan News...

Friday, September 26, 2008

======================
Who's the father of all corny jokes.
Popcorn.
======================
How are Little Red Riding Hood and Robinhood related?
They belong to the same neighborhood
======================
Mrs Smith is very stingy. When her husband died, she inquired with the newspaper, asking for the price of an obituary ad.
Ad taker: It’s $50 for five words.
Mrs Smith: Will 2 words be fine? Like, “GEORGE DEAD”
Ad taker: Oh ma’am, we require at least five words.
Mrs Smith: Hmm, alright. Please put, “GEORGE DEAD, VAN FOR SALE”
=====================================
Callie: Dad, you said before that you will give me $10 if I have A’s on my report card?
Dad: Absolutely! Why, did you get an A?
Callie: Dad, you saved $10!
=====================================
John: It’s ridiculous! I don’t believe it! There’s no person that fat!
Anne: I know! Where’d you get the news?
John: It’s on the papers. It said, “British tourist lost 2000 pounds.”
=====================================
Tom is applying as a security guard.
Interviewer: We need someone who has a suspicious mind, highly alert, has an insistent personality, with a strong sense of hearing
and with killer instinct. Do you think you are qualified?
Tom: I don’t think I am. But…would you consider my wife?
========================================
Always remember, when SHE cancels a date, it's because she HAS TO.But when HE cancels a date, it's because he HAS TWO!
=======================================
A man was carrying three babies in a train...Woman: Are they your babies?Man: Hell no! I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints
=======================================
Dad: Honey, I am done painting the fences!
Mom: Why are you wearing 2 jackets? It’s too hot outside!
Dad: Cause it says on the label, “For best results, put on two coats.”

Monday, January 02, 2006

THINGS ONLY A MOM CAN TEACH

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION....
"Just wait until your father gets home!"

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you ... Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me LOGIC ...
"If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICINE....
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, you're going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD ...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get good job."

My Mother taught me about ESP...
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold."

My Mother taught me HUMOR ...
"When the lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about SEX...
"How do you think you got here?"

My Mother taught me about GENETICS....
"You're just like your father!"

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS....
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My Mother taught me about the WISDOM OF AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

And my all time favorite ... JUSTICE....
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.... then you'll see what it's like."