Dad: Anak, bili mo ko ng soft drinks
Anak: Coke o Pepsi?
Dad: Coke
Anak: Diet o Regular?
Dad: Regular
Anak: Bote o Can?
Dad: Bote
Anak: 8 oz o Litro?
Dad: Bwiset! Tubig na lang!
Anak: Natural o Mineral?
Dad: Mineral
Anak: Malamig o Hindi?
Dad: Hampasin kaya kita ng walis?
Anak: Tambo o Ting-ting?
Dad: Animal ka!
Anak: Baka o Baboy?
Dad: Lumayas ka!
Anak: Ngayon o bukas?
Dad: Ngayon na!!
Anak: Hatid mo ko o hindi?
Dad: Patayin kaya kita?
Anak: Saksakin o Barilin?
Dad: Babarilin!
Anak: Sa ulo o sa tiyan?
Dad: Peste!
Anak: Ipis o Daga?
Dad: waaaahhh (naglulupasay)
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Tamang Kahulugan ng mga Salitang Pinoy
Abuloy- Bayad sa nahigop na kape at nanguyang biskwit sa nilamayang sakla
Akala - alam na alam daw
Aginaldo - inaasahan na makukuha sa araw ng Pasko na mas okay sana kung pera na lang
Bakasyon - sandaliang pahinga sa trabahong hingal lang ang pahinga
Bakit - tanong na laging mahirap masagot
Bakya - tsinelas na may takong
Baga - lutuan ng mga hindi makabili ng microwave
Bagoong - masarap na ulam ng mga walang maiulam
Baldado - hindi mamamatay-matay na mukhang hindi na mabubuhay
Bale - sweldong inutang
Kaaway - ikli ng "kaibigan na inayawan"
Kababata - dating gelpren na may ibang boypren
Kabag - utot na naipon sa tiyan
Kabayo - hayop na sinasakyan ng kalesa
Kalbo - gupit ng buhok na korteng itlog
Dalaginding - dalgang hindi pa nagsusuot ng bra
Dilim - liwanag na maitim
E - ireng paseksi
Gahasa - romansang walang ligawan
Ginang - asawa ni ginoo na mukha nang tsimay
Ginoo - inaasawa ni ginanang na may inaasawang iba
Gipit - kalagayan ng tao na suki na ng sanglaan
Ha - sagot ng nagbibingi-bingihan
Halakhak - tawang bukang-buka ang ngala-ngala
Handaan - magdamagan na palakihan ng tiyan
Handog - bigay na laging may kapalit
Hipo - haplos na may malisya
Hudas - tapat na manloloko
Ibon - hayop na lumalangoy sa hangin
Imposible - pagtaas ng unano
Insulto -walang hiyang biro
Isda - hayop na hindi nalulunod
Ita - negrong Pinoy
La - ikli ng "lalalala" sa kinakantang hindi maalala
Lalawigan - siyudad ng kahirapan
Langaw - kulisap na bangung-bango sa amoy ng basura
Ma - tawag sa gelpren na mukhang nanay na
Malusog - hitsura ng tumatabang balat
Mama - tawag sa sosyal na ina
Mano - kaugaliang Pinoy na nakapupudpod ng noo
Mantika - katas ng piniritong taba
Maybahay - asawang utusan sa bahay
Nakaw - pagkuha ng walang pasabing "akin na lang ito"
Naku - ikli ng "ina ko, ina na ako"
Nitso - bahay ng mga patay
Nobya - gelpren na laking probinsiya
Ngalngal - iyak ng walang ipin
Ngisi - tawang tulo-laway
Ngiti - tawang labas ipin
Paa - bahagi ng katawan na amoy lupa
Paaralan - dito itinuturo kung ano, alin o sino ang mapipiling bobo
Panata - dasal na nakatataba ng tuhod
Regla - masungit na panahon ng pagkababae
Sabon - mabangong bagay na ipinapahid sa mabahong katawan
Sakristan - utusan ng pari
Sampal - haplos na nakatitigas ng mukha
Ta - ikli ng "tita" o lalaking may bra
Tamad - taong hindi napapagod sa paghinga
===============
Taken from Kabayan News...
Akala - alam na alam daw
Aginaldo - inaasahan na makukuha sa araw ng Pasko na mas okay sana kung pera na lang
Bakasyon - sandaliang pahinga sa trabahong hingal lang ang pahinga
Bakit - tanong na laging mahirap masagot
Bakya - tsinelas na may takong
Baga - lutuan ng mga hindi makabili ng microwave
Bagoong - masarap na ulam ng mga walang maiulam
Baldado - hindi mamamatay-matay na mukhang hindi na mabubuhay
Bale - sweldong inutang
Kaaway - ikli ng "kaibigan na inayawan"
Kababata - dating gelpren na may ibang boypren
Kabag - utot na naipon sa tiyan
Kabayo - hayop na sinasakyan ng kalesa
Kalbo - gupit ng buhok na korteng itlog
Dalaginding - dalgang hindi pa nagsusuot ng bra
Dilim - liwanag na maitim
E - ireng paseksi
Gahasa - romansang walang ligawan
Ginang - asawa ni ginoo na mukha nang tsimay
Ginoo - inaasawa ni ginanang na may inaasawang iba
Gipit - kalagayan ng tao na suki na ng sanglaan
Ha - sagot ng nagbibingi-bingihan
Halakhak - tawang bukang-buka ang ngala-ngala
Handaan - magdamagan na palakihan ng tiyan
Handog - bigay na laging may kapalit
Hipo - haplos na may malisya
Hudas - tapat na manloloko
Ibon - hayop na lumalangoy sa hangin
Imposible - pagtaas ng unano
Insulto -walang hiyang biro
Isda - hayop na hindi nalulunod
Ita - negrong Pinoy
La - ikli ng "lalalala" sa kinakantang hindi maalala
Lalawigan - siyudad ng kahirapan
Langaw - kulisap na bangung-bango sa amoy ng basura
Ma - tawag sa gelpren na mukhang nanay na
Malusog - hitsura ng tumatabang balat
Mama - tawag sa sosyal na ina
Mano - kaugaliang Pinoy na nakapupudpod ng noo
Mantika - katas ng piniritong taba
Maybahay - asawang utusan sa bahay
Nakaw - pagkuha ng walang pasabing "akin na lang ito"
Naku - ikli ng "ina ko, ina na ako"
Nitso - bahay ng mga patay
Nobya - gelpren na laking probinsiya
Ngalngal - iyak ng walang ipin
Ngisi - tawang tulo-laway
Ngiti - tawang labas ipin
Paa - bahagi ng katawan na amoy lupa
Paaralan - dito itinuturo kung ano, alin o sino ang mapipiling bobo
Panata - dasal na nakatataba ng tuhod
Regla - masungit na panahon ng pagkababae
Sabon - mabangong bagay na ipinapahid sa mabahong katawan
Sakristan - utusan ng pari
Sampal - haplos na nakatitigas ng mukha
Ta - ikli ng "tita" o lalaking may bra
Tamad - taong hindi napapagod sa paghinga
===============
Taken from Kabayan News...
Friday, September 26, 2008
======================
Who's the father of all corny jokes.
Popcorn.
======================
How are Little Red Riding Hood and Robinhood related?
They belong to the same neighborhood
======================
Mrs Smith is very stingy. When her husband died, she inquired with the newspaper, asking for the price of an obituary ad.
Ad taker: It’s $50 for five words.
Mrs Smith: Will 2 words be fine? Like, “GEORGE DEAD”
Ad taker: Oh ma’am, we require at least five words.
Mrs Smith: Hmm, alright. Please put, “GEORGE DEAD, VAN FOR SALE”
=====================================
Callie: Dad, you said before that you will give me $10 if I have A’s on my report card?
Dad: Absolutely! Why, did you get an A?
Callie: Dad, you saved $10!
=====================================
John: It’s ridiculous! I don’t believe it! There’s no person that fat!
Anne: I know! Where’d you get the news?
John: It’s on the papers. It said, “British tourist lost 2000 pounds.”
=====================================
Tom is applying as a security guard.
Interviewer: We need someone who has a suspicious mind, highly alert, has an insistent personality, with a strong sense of hearing
and with killer instinct. Do you think you are qualified?
Tom: I don’t think I am. But…would you consider my wife?
========================================
Always remember, when SHE cancels a date, it's because she HAS TO.But when HE cancels a date, it's because he HAS TWO!
=======================================
A man was carrying three babies in a train...Woman: Are they your babies?Man: Hell no! I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints
=======================================
Dad: Honey, I am done painting the fences!
Mom: Why are you wearing 2 jackets? It’s too hot outside!
Dad: Cause it says on the label, “For best results, put on two coats.”
Who's the father of all corny jokes.
Popcorn.
======================
How are Little Red Riding Hood and Robinhood related?
They belong to the same neighborhood
======================
Mrs Smith is very stingy. When her husband died, she inquired with the newspaper, asking for the price of an obituary ad.
Ad taker: It’s $50 for five words.
Mrs Smith: Will 2 words be fine? Like, “GEORGE DEAD”
Ad taker: Oh ma’am, we require at least five words.
Mrs Smith: Hmm, alright. Please put, “GEORGE DEAD, VAN FOR SALE”
=====================================
Callie: Dad, you said before that you will give me $10 if I have A’s on my report card?
Dad: Absolutely! Why, did you get an A?
Callie: Dad, you saved $10!
=====================================
John: It’s ridiculous! I don’t believe it! There’s no person that fat!
Anne: I know! Where’d you get the news?
John: It’s on the papers. It said, “British tourist lost 2000 pounds.”
=====================================
Tom is applying as a security guard.
Interviewer: We need someone who has a suspicious mind, highly alert, has an insistent personality, with a strong sense of hearing
and with killer instinct. Do you think you are qualified?
Tom: I don’t think I am. But…would you consider my wife?
========================================
Always remember, when SHE cancels a date, it's because she HAS TO.But when HE cancels a date, it's because he HAS TWO!
=======================================
A man was carrying three babies in a train...Woman: Are they your babies?Man: Hell no! I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints
=======================================
Dad: Honey, I am done painting the fences!
Mom: Why are you wearing 2 jackets? It’s too hot outside!
Dad: Cause it says on the label, “For best results, put on two coats.”
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